Self-Love.

These days, it is very common for Psycho-therapist to recommend Self-love as a “treatment” regiment to combat challenges arising from Low Self-Esteem, Depression, Anxiety, Abuse or Trauma, Perfectionism, Codependency, Life Transitions, Burnout, Eating Disorders, Grief and Loss.

That this form of therapy is recommended for such a variety of emotional challenges suggests that either modern Psychology has discovered the “silver bullet” for dealing with emotional issues, or it has simply adopted a “one treatment fits all” approach to dealing with the enigma of emotional problems, especially since their root cause appear to be similar, and they all manifest some degree of disturbance in a person’s psychic equilibrium.

As an aside, it is noteworthy that although Psychologists have no definitive explanation or knowledge of what the real essence of the Psyche of man really is, or how it operates, they are prescribing therapy to cure imbalances that occur in something of which they know so little about, or what causes the imbalance. Notwithstanding, let us grant that their objective is noble and is driven by the desire to help those suffering.

Given the overwhelming focusing of Self-love on the Self, some professionals are quick to point out that Self-love is not about narcissism or selfishness; rather, it is about recognizing one's inherent worth and treating oneself with the same kindness and respect that one would offer to a loved one. And therein, they say, lies the foundation for healthier relationships and a more satisfying life.

On the surface, this qualifier gives the impression that Self-love is a modern adjunct to the ancient sacred teaching of Love thy neighbor as thy self. In fact, many, including believers, are trading Spiritual Counselling or search in their sacred books for answers to emotional challenges for sessions with Therapists. As a result, many see Self-love as complementary, or a modern rendition of the ancient Spiritual teachings that they may still believe, though vaguely.

But here they are mistaken.

The fundamental premise for the Psycho-therapy of Self-love is not the same as that of Spiritual teaching. The former is the product of human theory based on conclusions drawn from observations of the manifestations of phenomena that are occurring within aspects of the human being of which the observer has very limited knowledge, or is totally ignorant. Therefore, it goes without saying that the applications of their conclusions could just as likely be wrong as it is correct. In a sense, this aspect of the practice of modern Psychology is reminiscent of the days in which medical treatment regiments where prescribed in total ignorance, by the practitioners, of the pathogenesis of physical illnesses in the human body. For example the common practice of bloodletting as treatment for any variety of illnesses. While this may have produced results, history shows that it was mostly unhelpful and often fatal.

In the same manner, it behooves us to take another look at Self-love as therapy for Psychic problems. Could this form of treatment, touted benefits notwithstanding, ultimately prove fatal to the Psyche, i.e. the Spirit, the real essence of man?

To come to the right answer we need to contrast the effect on the Spirit of the ancient Spiritual teachings versus Self-love.

But first, let us re-examine our understanding and the working of the Spiritual teaching of Love thy neighbor as thy self, which Jesus himself reemphasized is one of the major cures for all human Spiritual malaise.

Today few will challenge the fact that Spiritual malaise or psychic problems are as real as physical problems. Also, it is arguable that all social problems, including conflicts and crises of all types, can be traced to our emotional state, even before they eventually manifest in our physical environment as social crises or in our physical bodies as ailments.

Starting from the externals: Spiritual teachings place primary emphasis on one’s treatment, attitude and relationship with a neighbor. When this is conducted in good faith, and consideration, it is only natural that our neighbor, unless they are a sociopath will respond in kind. Thus Spiritual teachings aim at preempting the possibility of a conflict arising in the first place. Self-love by contrast focuses on trying, after the fact, to manage the adverse emotional and mental effect of a bad relationship or situation on a person. It places less regard on self-examination of how one may have contributed to the situation. Therefore, even if the practice of Self-love yields relief, it is only situational, and does not necessarily help a person develop the inner sight on how to prevent a recurrence in the future. Thus Self-love is self-centered and only gives secondary consideration to the neighbor. That this practice can only foster wide spread selfishness and narcissism will become evident in time.

As all Spiritual helpers have emphasized, their teachings are addressed to the Spirit, the real essence of man, whose field of activity transcends life on this Earth as well as many Earthly existences. Fundamental to these teachings is the concept of Love, as expressed in the mandate to Love thy neighbor as thy self. But this Love goes beyond the limited interpretation that is generally given to it. The true Spiritual meaning of this injunction affirms the popular saying that “Love makes the world go round”.

Love is indeed the Power that drives ALL movement. Without Love there can be no movement. We all know this from our own Life. We are strongly motivated to work, to be active, to be engaged with anything or person that we love. Without Love our actions and movement are sluggish or stifled. We experience burn-out on activities for which we have no passion (Love) and we are inspired and reenergized by activities for which we have passion. Indeed without sharing or experiencing Love we gradually lose the desire to live. “Love is Life” is a fact that we all subconsciously know. We all live and experience the effect of the meager and tainted expression of Love that is practiced on earth today. Yet, notwithstanding its inferior quality one can see that through Love man has made some progress in taming the beast within.

One can only imagine the tremendous Power that could be generated, and the direction to which the World could be powerfully and swiftly moved if pure Love and passion could be applied to all of our activities!

This is the much deeper and higher meaning that lies in Jesus’ injunction to Love thy neighbor as thy self. The practice of such pure Love also holds the greatest power to rectify any psychic imbalance; that is if such can even occur in an environment suffused with the Power of pure Love.

Psycho-therapy and Self-love have no concept of this and therefore do not take this aspect of human existence into consideration. It is also oblivious to how its absence affects the Psyche to later manifest in emotional problems, whose root cause lie within this extended range of human existence

Perhaps the excerpts below will help to demonstrate, in more concrete terms, the contrast in depth of understanding and comprehensiveness of solutions offered by Spiritual teachings versus Psycho-therapy/Self-Love for the common phenomenon of Low Self Esteem (Inferiority Complex).

Psycho-therapy theorizes that Low self-esteem stems from any number of experiences; for example childhood experiences of excessive criticism, neglect, abuse, bullying. Trauma or significant life events, such as divorce, loss are also considered factors. So too does excessive comparing of oneself to others. It also suggests that societal standards and cultural norms around beauty, success, and worthiness can influence self-esteem. All of these negative experiences it is believed contribute to Low Self-Esteem, in which a person consistently undervalues themselves or feels unworthy, and which commonly manifests in Negative Self-Perception, Self-Criticism, Fear of Failure, Withdrawal, Perfectionism, and Dependence on External Validation.

To combat these “feelings”, Psycho-therapy recommends fostering Self-love as one way to help boost self-confidence. The theory is that with the practice of Self-love a person should be able to refocus their psychic energies in such a way as to gradually regain control over what is causing their feeling of Low Self Esteem.

Unfortunately, the very broad diagnosis and non-specificity of cause can leave many suffers confused and vulnerable to ascribing other emotional problems to themselves, especially since Psychologists and Therapist apply the same or similar causative factors to most emotional problems.

It is therefore no surprise that a person may start therapy with one complaint and escalate to other problems. This because they became convinced that they have these other emotional problems since they too have experienced some of the factors that the therapist may have used as probable explanation for their situation. Indeed, this is very common today where more people are taking an active part in their own treatment, and readily turn to the internet and social media to search for answers. A typical and common situation is where a person in therapy suddenly decides that they have suffered childhood abuse or trauma, of which they had been unaware. And this discovery opens up other therapy regiments, while the initial reason for therapy has not been addressed. Needless to say, the very suggestible can end up becoming entangled in an unending web of therapy goals.

This common phenomenon, plus the egotistical focus on self, alluded to earlier, could raises questions about the precision, efficacy and the untoward side effects of this form of treatment.

By contrast, let us review the response given to this same question from a Spiritual perspective.by Abdrushin[1]

QUESTION:

What really is an inferiority complex?

ANSWER:

This question shall be answered here because it is of general interest. An inferiority complex, as it is so pleasantly called, occurs where the spirit cannot unfold freely. In many cases it is even proof that such a person is spiritually stronger than he is able to manifest, and for that reason he suffers from the pressure of a restraint which he cannot account for. Read my lecture “The Mystery of the Blood”. You can glean many a thing from it with regard to this very question.

But there is yet another cause, for which there is little help: that is, indolence of the spirit! Man could indeed pull himself together to throw off this pressure if only he wanted to do so. But he is too lazy for this, and would like others to do it for him. Besides, as time goes on, he actually feels quite happy in his display, and he would miss something if the pressure were to leave him. He wants to be pitied; while he asks for advice and help in many quarters, he would not be particularly grateful to anyone who could really free him from the accustomed pressure.

The first kind can certainly be helped, but not the second, because they themselves do not really want it.

Implicit in Abdrushin’s response are some of the manifestations observed by Psychologist to define Low Self Esteem; namely, Self-Criticism (self-pity), Fear of Failure, Perfectionism, and Dependence on External Validation.

But his Spiritual perspective goes much further to establish the specific possible Spiritual root causes of the problem. As one possibility, he explains that the quality of a person’s Blood radiation may hamper the Spirit from unfolding its wings and attaining the Perfection that it feels urged to strive after. He gives another very specific possibility that the cause may be Indolence (Laziness) of the Spirit. That is a Spirit not making the effort to exert its Spiritual will to bring about the results that it senses it should strive after. And this unconscious sensing manifests as the low self-worth that the person is experiencing.

It is necessary to add to more clarifications to this example.

1 - Clearly it does not address situations in which person in an abusive relationship becomes so traumatized that they lose self-confidence. But even here, there is always a Spiritual basis that leads to the crossing of such paths, and a spiritual lesson to be learned.

2 – Indolence of the Spirit does not mean that a person is lazy also in the material. On the contrary, a person who very active physically and intellectuality could be indolent in Spirit. Thus distinguishing between activity in Spirit and mental or physical activity.

The genesis and progression of Spiritual conditions, their requisite remedies, as well as how these achieve their effects on the Spirit, are well documented and explained in the book “In The Light of Truth” (The Grail Message) by Abdrushin.

Also, we would be remiss if we do not point out one other damage, to the Psyche, that could arise by focusing only on symptoms, as is done in Psycho-therapy. A sufferer may end up seeing themselves as burdened unfairly by Life, and in adopting a combative attitude towards life lose out on the opportunity to learn the Spiritual lessons that their condition is trying to bring to their attention.

A Spiritual approach, on the other hand, is predicated on knowledge of the Spiritual Laws which dictate that we must each learn to recognize our errors through personal experiencing. With the acceptance of this principle, a sufferer is urged to first seek the cause of their affliction within themselves, in the recognition that all that we need to solve our problems lie written in our Spiritual conscience, waiting to be uncovered through deep emotional experiences. Of course a knowing one can help one unearth that which is written within our conscience. So too can Prayer, a power which many today no longer recognize or value. Prayer can help us intuit better and lead us unconsciously to change our inner attitude, the only thing that can put us back onto the path to Spiritual regeneration.

Unfortunately modern man has the wrong understanding of Prayer, and what it means to pray. But further exploration of the meaning, purpose and power of prayer is beyond the scope this article. The Grail Message sheds more light on this subject.

In conclusion, it should be stated that Physical or Psychological interventions that do not take the Spirit into consideration may yield temporary relief, but seldom a cure. Instead, the sufferer is likely to become addicted and completely dependent, going from one medication to the next, or from one therapist to the next, but seldom able to live a full life away from therapy. In the end this can only have an adverse effect on the person’s Spiritual life, or, even existence.

Unfortunately, anyone who limits their interpretation to the narrow field of earthly observations is likely to find Spiritual advice and injunctions incomprehensible. Herein lies the reason why many today are turning to Psycho-Therapy, ignorant of its limitation to the Spirit, instead of searching for answers in the Spiritual teachings.

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[1]“ Questions and Answers” by Abdrushin (Grail Message Foundation – Publishers) www.grailmessage.com